A bird has decided to live on top of my car. Every morning when I go out to my car, a Robbin is perched on the hood, the door, the trunk. Why a bird decided to spend it's mornings perched on my car, I don't know. I can't answer that question any more than I actually get into the head of my fellow man, as tempting as that sounds and as much as I would really LOVE to. I think it would be great to sit inside someone else's psyche for a few minuets and find out if my mind and their mind work anything alike. Do other people feel giddy about their life's calling? Do others imagine that they are a superhero when they get stuck in traffic or wonder when they're paused at a stoplight what conversations take place at this intersection every day when other cars are stopped here? Who knows?
Now that I've started to FEEL things again, I'm surprised by the emotions that I find myself experiencing about certain situations that probably would have left me numb before. Annoyance at a six hour surgery yesterday that barely allowed me, or the other student, the opportunity to see anything or LEARN anything, for that matter. Contentment with being by myself for the remainder of the day yesterday. And, dare I say it, optimism, for the future. I'm also afraid of some of the other emotions I've been feeling lately. Especially certain times when I allow myself to dream, briefly, about the possibilities that await each new day. I've been asking God to be my filter for some of these "scary" feelings and I pray desperately that if I start to head in a direction that is self serving or outside of His will that He will change how I feel. I trust that He can do that. I mean, if God can turn the hearts of man towards Himself, then He can certainly change the heart of one woman, one who's willing, no less, towards His will and make His desires for her life clear. And then I feel relief, which is another one I haven't felt in forever.
I love what you said here. I like to think of God as that parent, with the kid on the bike who has just taken the training wheels off.
ReplyDeleteGod is there to correct your path, just a bit. He won't force you onto a good path, but if you start to wobble and fall, He will be there.
The only difference between life and riding a bike --because there is only one-- is that life is forever like learning to ride.
We start with training wheels (get confident on those), then we progress to just the bike with God steadying us. But then we feel we are ready for him to let go. Then we start to ride. The ride may be thrilling and terrifying, both at the same time. Then we get cocky and go too fast and crash into something or just fall.
You never forget how to ride a bike. In Life though, you go for awhile and then you crash. Then you regress back to training wheels, then with the parent steadying you, then you take off, and then you crash again.
Our lives are forever, that very first day of riding a bike!